Who am I?

So this is something I've been struggling with a lot these past couple of years. I feel like I've lost the person I want to be. And I have decided that by this time next year, I will better know who I am and what I want out of life. I wish I could just know now, but I know that this kind of discovery isn't instantaneous. I thought I knew what I wanted out of my life. That was to become a Marine Biologist, travel the world, and marry someone who loves God as much as I do. Most of this is still true, I would love to be a Marine Conservationist (or something to that accord). I would love to travel all over the world and soak in the histories and stories from all the big cities. I would also love to find a man who will love me and cherish me for who I am. But how can I do all of that if I don't know who I am myself? So I've decided to do this journey and I hope to document all the major discoveries here. Here's my plan:

First, I want to reaffirm my faith and get back to where I once was. I've fallen quite a bit in the last couple of years, and I don't want to anymore. I need to get back into my daily worship. So I bought a devotional book about this. I think this should be my first step, because how can I love myself (or anyone else) if I don't understand or appreciate God's love for me? So that's number one.

Second, I need to know what I am looking for out of my life from my own perspective. I need to know who I am, and what I want. This is just something I will need to ponder and discover without a book. I need to pray to the Lord and wait for his answers.

Last, I need to know what I want out of a relationship before I can even think of having one. I feel like I'm ready for one, but I'm not going to force anything. I need to understand what I will bring to it and what I want the other person to bring to it. And I know that I need to trust God's plan, and that he will provide it when it is meant to come. I've started reading a book that is supposed to counsel a person through all of this. I've read the first chapter so far, and I'm hooked. It is written from a Christian perspective which is good.

I know that books won't solve everything, but maybe it'll help me decide and understand what I need and what I want from life. So in a year, I hope to be in a much better place spiritually and emotionally.

Until next time!