So I know that it is kind of a cliche to set New Year's resolutions, but I've never actually been serious about setting one until now. I am very unhappy with my life right now, so I've decided to do something about it. Instead of focusing my energy on school like I have for the last three and a half years (five and a half if I'm being truly honest), I will be focusing on myself. I need to start taking control of my own life and destination. I do believe that there is a rhyme and reason to everything, and that God already knows where my life will lead and all of that. But I just need to start doing what I want without taking everyone else's opinions into consideration. Don't get me wrong, I love advice when I ask for it...but when I just state an idea and then someone shoots it down with reason or excuses, I usually do what they say. And I don't want to do that anymore.
Here's how I see it. I am 23 years old, still two years away from graduating no matter what path I go down, and burnt out. It's almost sad to say that. I feel so old and burdened by life...at 23?! There is something seriously wrong with that. I understand that to have a job that can support me in life I will need to finish school and get a degree. Don't get me wrong, I know that. I'm not completely idiotic. But why do I need to finish it now? I have no commitments right now...no boyfriend, no children, no real need for a real job. I have every opportunity at my fingertips! In fact, I have been considering applying for an Americorps program and getting out of WI for a while. Moving to a new state and experiencing a new type of life would be beneficial to me. I really believe that. And this would be the year to do it! I have been looking into two areas: Seattle, Washington and Dallas, Texas. These are two completely different areas from the midwest. I just want to experience a bit of independence. I know for a fact that I can not spend the next year working full time at Walgreens. I just can't take that job anymore. I need a change.
Also, I did really good with my diet at the beginning of last year, and then I stopped because I no longer had the motivation to keep it up. Well this year I want to do better. I want to start up my diet again AND maintain it/see it through to the end of my weight loss goal. In addition to that, I want to either join a gym or find a work out dvd that can help me. I know a couple of people who have done the Insanity program and found it successful...and I know a couple of people who swear by the P90X program. I just want to find one that I can do and feel confident in doing. I know that if I want to see results in anything in life, I need to work hard and set goals and have my own expectations out of life.
Another thing I want to sit down and figure out....What do I expect from my life right now? I mentioned earlier that I wanted to have more independence. This is very important to me, because I know what to do, I just feel extremely limited to how I can do it. I need to sit down and figure out what my expectations are. When I do, I promise I will write a post about them.
One last resolution, I want to keep up with posts here. Whether it is once a week or every other day. I want to make sure I keep writing. I have a lot of thoughts and opinions, and I don't always let them out....I have found that this is an excellent way of getting them out and in the open. And if I decide to act on them, then great. If not, then at least I got them out of my system, and can remember what I felt when I was feeling them.
Today's K-LOVE encouraging word of the day is Proverbs 3:5 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding." This is kind of the perfect passage to describe what I am feeling right now. I need to relearn to put my life in God's hands. I do believe my decision for this year is a good one that God has led me to make it. May God bless everyone as they start off this new year!
I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday! Let's make 2012 great!
Erin
